When I was waiting for my wayward period to come back after a medical treatment I had as a child, I was told (being in eighth grade) that it would probably come back if I just wasn't so stressed out.
This was told to me in the confines of a hospital where I had been part of an experimental treatment for several years. After I had undergone daily injections for several years. After countless tests could not explain why I was not "normal." Sure. No stress there.
In the end it was discovered that I had premature ovarian failure. Again, inexplicable. But no one hypothesized after that that if I had cut my stress back, there would have been a different outcome.
Why is it that infertility has to be someone's fault? There is a study posted over on Twitter that infertility could be related somehow to being overweight. Well no pressure there, right? If a couple can't get pregnant it's because they're trying to hard. You're not eating the right kind of foods. You're too high-strung. You're too overweight.
Being diagnosed with infertility is tough enough. Do we really need to lay blame? Where is the care in the medical profession for the power of this kind of diagnosis? I have yet to see it, sadly. I'd be happy to hear about different kinds of experiences.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Caring about you
When you are diagnosed with infertility, there is a world of concerns that don't really get addressed, first and foremost being your psychological well-being. But there are other things too. Will you go on hormone replacement therapy? Will you start getting bone density exams to protect your bones if the problem is ovarian failure?
One thing that certainly never gets covered, so far as I can tell, is the complete lack of desire to take care of yourself. As a woman, I was generally trained by society to think that I needed to be healthy so that I could be a good mommy. What's the point of being healthy if you can't fulfill this primal urge?
Well, this is something that should be covered in a brochure as soon as you are diagnosed. You are worth all of the care that you would have put into any child. You are worth all of the care you put into trying to become pregnant.
For many years, I did not exercise. I did not eat well. I was completely unmotivated, to the point that it didn't even occur to me to go take a walk on a beautiful day.
Take care of yourself. Love yourself. I know that this can be a difficult journey, but you cannot carry a big backpack if you malnourished. You can't shed this big bag of things you have to deal with if you are unhealthy. Don't give in to despair. There is reason to hope. There is reason to love yourself. It will pay dividends for you in ways you cannot even imagine.
One thing that certainly never gets covered, so far as I can tell, is the complete lack of desire to take care of yourself. As a woman, I was generally trained by society to think that I needed to be healthy so that I could be a good mommy. What's the point of being healthy if you can't fulfill this primal urge?
Well, this is something that should be covered in a brochure as soon as you are diagnosed. You are worth all of the care that you would have put into any child. You are worth all of the care you put into trying to become pregnant.
For many years, I did not exercise. I did not eat well. I was completely unmotivated, to the point that it didn't even occur to me to go take a walk on a beautiful day.
Take care of yourself. Love yourself. I know that this can be a difficult journey, but you cannot carry a big backpack if you malnourished. You can't shed this big bag of things you have to deal with if you are unhealthy. Don't give in to despair. There is reason to hope. There is reason to love yourself. It will pay dividends for you in ways you cannot even imagine.
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